I really want to publish my series of Science Fiction books. But thoughts of becoming a real live author fill me with such giddy pride, I usually need to go nap immediately. Pride frightens me, as it does many people.
I'm going after this dream anyway.
Because I am a (*trained, certified*) Life Coach, I pursue goals essentially the same way as everyone else, with one crucial difference.
The word the kids are using these days is mindfulness, and it's the one that describes that crucial difference. I'm mindful.
I take action, while simultaneously observing myself -- and here's the trick -- compassionately. Like a coach would; I collect data and information to help move me forward in the best way. (This is in stark comparison to the past, when looking at myself with a non-judgmental lens was impossible, and trying to would only open me up to the gaping chasm of my own lack...)
Yesterday I did something so breathtakingly frightening I can only wonder that I actually followed through. I SUBMITTED A SHORT STORY. And not only did I love the piece, and felt great pride in it -- I sent it to a magazine that would make me feel tremendous joy if they took it.
Because of observing myself, I can tell you that risking rejection isn't the hard part for me. What is a thousand times more difficult is putting myself in a position to succeed.
In coaching, we don't typically ask "why"? I know why. Several psychiatrists up and down the West Coast know why. It doesn't matter what traumas got me here. I want to get books written and published, so I have to push through.
If you find yourself in a panic state, because the thought of going after a dream tweaks your inner something; try taking a step back. Notice how the dynamic works. And take it easy on yourself; just because you trigger your own anxiety doesn't mean you have to stay stuck.
The key to moving forward is to be fair, and even kind, to yourself.
From there, the big risk doesn't feel so overwhelming. Asking for help and support is less daunting. Even a stuck state doesn't harden into rock. Self-compassion allows you to see your own journey with more flexibility, and more options.
And that allows forward progress.
What would you do, if the downside weren't so deep and dark?